Professional sports forgot why we loved them

For as long as I can remember, I've been a fan of professional sports; football, basketball, and baseball. I'm losing my taste for it, however. I'm just not interested in watching a bunch of drug-affected freaks get paid millions to do what isn't even possible, let alone within the norm of human experience.

I got tired of pro basketball first. The NBA has been unwatchable for years. Unlike college ball, they pretend that they restrict their defenses to man-to-man only, and then do whatever they can to disguise the zone they're playing. Uhhhh....why not just let them play a zone if they want to? It doesn't hamper the entertainment value of college ball. That's one. Two, if you're a so-called "superstar," you could pull out a gun and murder someone on the floor and they'd never call it. That finals replay they love to show of M. Jordan sinking the game-winning shot to win the championship makes me sick. They pass him the ball, he travels with it, then he pushes off, then he takes the shot. There's at least three turnovers on that one play, but no official who values his job is going to call anything on a superstar at any time, let alone a game-winning situation like that. Shaquille O'Neal should foul out of every game he plays in within about 3 minutes. He basically just bulldozes over the top of whoever guards him, but he's a superstar, so they don't call offensive fouls on Shaq. Nevermind the fact that he never touches the ball without travelling with it, but that's another story. I'll start watching the NBA again when they: 1. let teams play whatever defense they like; 2. Call the game equally, regardless of whoever's on the court; 3. Start policing the behavior of players (enough "wrist-slaps" for drug violations - fire them! And enough "so and so's got a baby in every city." I'm not the morality police, but the employers of these players SHOULD be! Whatever happened to team curfews?)

Of course, everyone knows why I'm fed up with baseball. One word: steroids. Okay, so fans were really exercised when the greed of players allowed them to strike and cancel the world series. Baseball decided to look the other way as M. McGuire and S. Sosa, just as juiced up as they could be, had that little home run race that "saved" baseball. Then baseball looked away as B. Bonds, his head 3 sizes larger than it used to be, hit 73 and further reinvigorated the game. Frankly, it's a huge disservice to the players who're clean - it diminishes their accomplishments and makes it harder for them to compete without juicing up as well. Frankly, I think they should test ever Major League player unannounced every other month or so and fire anyone who's caught cheating. That's what would happen to someone in any other workplace and that is what MLB should do. Otherwise, they should stop pretending that "the sanctity of the game" isn't being tarnished, put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame, and let pro wrestlers in for 7th-inning stretch entertainment - one-steriod manufactured freak entertaining another.

As far as I'm concerned, football is the least affected of all pro sports so far. I mean, guys like Lyle Alzado or Brian Bosworth happen from time to time, but they're pretty much summarily dismissed when they're unearthed. What get's me about football is the whole character-issue thing. When a guy's making several million dollars a year to play a game, why does he feel it necessary to kill dogs, beat his wife, burn blunts, race cars down the freeway, get into bar fights, kill ex-girl friends, turn his ex-wife into a Pez dispenser, or all of the above? Look, I know that no one is a saint, but come on! is it too much to ask for you not to kill dogs, ex-wives or girl friends, and to stop setting up drug deals? I may just stop watching televised sports altogether and simply watch reruns of my 7th-graders playing. At least I know they're pretty good kids for the most part and they're not doing anything illegal - just having fun.

I thought that's what sports were all about - having fun. I guess that just goes to show what I know. Anytime there's as much money involved as there is in pro sports, there's always going to be someone who's trying to find an edge. I hope everyone stops watching - maybe then it'll go back to what it's supposed to be - Fun.