...but my 13 year-old 21 year-old is about to drive me around the corner with her "gimme-gimme" ungrateful attitude!
Two nights ago(23rd), all four of my kids came over for a birthday dinner in their honor. Kim worked like a dog preparing a wonderful meal and a "from scratch" birthday cake that was simply marvelous (Kim's an AWESOME cook!). All of the kids seemed to enjoy it, but I could tell when "present" time rolled around, my youngest was upset that she only got a token gift for her birthday (recall that she used up her Christmas/Birthday goodwill on overages on her cell phone, which is paid for by ME lock, stock, and barrel) instead of the nice cash gift that I gave her sister. Her twin brother got the same treatment - I'm having to pay the deductible for his knee surgery, so I told him that Christmas/Birthday wasn't going to be any great shakes and he understood! Anyway, a couple of them asked me if was sending Christmas home with them two days before Christmas, and I told them no - if they wanted a Christmas present, they needed to come and see me on Christmas!
I said all that to say this - last evening, the thirteen year-old called me and asked if she could return the boxes she'd borrowed when Kim and I moved her back into her mother's house. I said, uh....sure, I suppose; timing's a little strange, but I guess you can return boxes right about now if you like. Anyway, I knew it was just a lame excuse to come and get their Christmas presents. So, after we put the boxes back into the garage, they came inside (my oldest, Lauren made the trip with her) and just sort of waited. For that matter, Lauren never did sit down! So, I said, "well, since y'all are here, why don't you open your Christmas presents!" So they did and then, within no more than another 2.5 minutes, they were gone!
We were remarking about the strangeness of the event when the phone rang. "Dad!" (it was Katelyn) "I just wanted to make sure that I didn't drop some cash or leave some in a crack or something - there was only $5 in this envelope, is that right?" (subtle child!) "Yes, Katelyn, there was only $5 in your envelope - your Christmas was my paying your $135 overage on your cell phone bill....remember?" (Katelyn) "Well...how much did Lauren get?" (Me) "Frankly, Katelyn, that's none of your business! What I give Lauren is between me and Lauren and it's nobody else's affair! I will tell you this - her birthday and Christmas together didn't add up to $145, which is what you were given altogether!" (Katelyn) "Oh....well I was just wondering; I wanted to make sure I didn't lose any if there was more." (Me) "No, that's all there was; you're safe! Merry Christmas! I love you!" (KK) "click"
Oh, I see how it is. I'm supposed to forget the $135 cell phone bill that I had to pay over and above the regular cell phone bill AND give you the same amount for Christmas that I give everyone else, is that it? Hmmmm.....Cameron's deductible is $187 so, according to that logic, I ought to just give everyone the same and no one would feel left out. Hmmmm....that's $748 just on the four with whom I share DNA; if I extended that package to the other two (we'll call it $150 for Christmas and $37 for birthday), that's an additional $300, for a grand total of $1048 just for the kids, not to mention parents, party expenses, hostess gifts, gifts for friends, etc. Uhhhhhh.....my name's not Gates! I can't afford that kind of expenditure for Christmas, which is why I told the little ingrate that her cell phone bill WAS her Christmas and birthday!
I think I'll pay the $75 fee and have her line disabled. I wonder how she'll feel about paying for it by herself! Merry Christmas! - Dan
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