Well, we lost AGAIN!!!

If you happen to be one of my players reading in - please stop reading now....

Have you stopped yet?

If you haven't stopped yet, why not? Didn't I tell you to stop?

If you're one of my players, and you're still reading, please forgive me in advance for what I'm about to say. We're not very good. We don't tackle well. We don't block well. We're not very fast, not very strong, and not very physical. We don't play with much passion for the most part, and we don't play very well together. What's worse is the fact that we're not very smart, either. I've got a pretty extensive stunt and scheme package that I usually put in, but I haven't been able to put much of anything at all in this year - we're just not smart enough to pick it up and run it. We've won one game all year and I'd be surprised if we win another. Our one victory was against the perennial doormats of our league, and we just barely beat them. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good coach, but kids without much talent and very little desire are a pretty tough sell.

Here are some of the sideline quotes from the game tonight (names changed to protect the innocent):

Coach B (my partner) - "Smith! Stop tip-toeing through the tulips and hit the hole! (to me) Dan, I'm getting really tired of these guys running like they think they're Barry Sanders or something!"

Me - "Yeah, I'm afraid we don't have Barry Sanders over here anywhere. COLONEL Sanders we got - but no Barry!"

Coach B - "Jones (an offensive tackle)! What're you doing 15 yards downfield?! My running back's getting killed behind the line of scrimmage and you're 15 yards downfield!"

Me - "One of the guys on the other team hollered 'donuts!' and he went down there to look, coach!"

Coach B - "Dan, I'm going to burn a time-out. I think we're out of gas."

Me - "Yeah, I'm seeing cleat-marks on tongues - it's probably time!"

Well, if you're not winning, you may as well have a good time with it. We have three games left, and then basketball season starts. Here's the sad news. As bad as our group in 8th-grade is, the 7th-graders are even worse. I coach the 7th A and B and, based on what we've got out for football, it's going to be a VERY long basketball season. Well, maybe some kid will come out of one of the PE classes and surprise me.

I sure hope so!

Dan