Who even THINKS of this?

Okay, I admit it; I nearly soiled myself when I read this article! I mean, who even IMAGINES something like this?

For those of you who are too lazy to pull up the article, here's the synopsis; A man at a Phillies game (where ELSE?!?!), apparently upset that his crude, rude, and socially unacceptable "partner" was removed from the game for spitting at, spilling beer on, and cursing at (expletives NOT deleted!) an off-duty police officer and his daughters, forced himself to vomit on the man and his children!

Uhhh.....VOMIT?!?!

That's pretty inventive, huh? I mean, who says to himself "uhh...here's a good idea! I'll spend a hunny or two at the ballpark slamming beers and hot dogs (believe me, if you pulled up the article and got a load of this guy, you KNOW he was slamming beers and dogs!), then I'll tick off an off-duty Policeman and THEN I'll V-O-M-I-T on his family! Done! GREAT plan!!!"

Uhhh.....WHAT?

Is it something in the water, Philly? Was the embarrassment suffered by your "partner" not enough? Didn't your "lucky ship" already come in when the cop didn't bust your skull and play the "I'm a cop" card to get off with a slap on the back and a chuckle?

What kind of idiot comes up with a "to do" list like this?

Buy overalls check!
Polish the ElCamino check!
Pick up a case of PBR to warm up check!
Drive to the stadium (gotta get Adam Dunn's autograph!) check!
Eat a couple of (pounds of) sloppy dogs check!
Drink another 15 beers check!
Get obnoxious with cop
a. spit
b. cuss
c. spill beer check!
Get belligerent when "partner" gets ejected check!
Vomit on cop and family check!!!!!!

Spend night in jail check!

Oh my gosh! This world truly is going to hell in a handbasket! Sheesh!